Perspective

Sometimes when you are in a problem or situation, it always seems like such a big deal. Or maybe I should rephrase that, when I'M in a situation, commitment, a problem, I think it's all I have right now...this is serious; this is a big deal, etc. When in fact it's none of it.

Taking life so seriously is draining. I am drained. Recently I was remembering some places I used to work. I was thinking about work commitments I had to make very month. I used to think, there is no way I can plan anything else for that day, because I have to be at work. I am committed. If something comes up with family or friends, sorry, oh well,  I have to work. Now that I am out of that realm and office, I realized I could've relaxed. Perspective.

That's what I 've been missing perspective. I often look at a magnet on my fridge with a quote on it. It's plain and simple, not only the quote, but also the magnet. Square white magnet with simple font and black text...

everything will be okay in the end. 

if it's not okay. 

it's not the end.

Okay

Sometimes I am overwhelmed when I think about how fortunate I am on a day to day basis. I have food on the table every evening, a nice warm bed, clothes, fun shoes, friends a loving family and I have never been through anything super tragic growing up or even today. I have wonderful parents that are still married and an awesome extended family that’s super supportive.

All these thoughts came stirring into my head when I attended an event called Invisible Children. I knew of the organization from years past, but this year they produced a new film. And not only did they show the film, but an actual child (now adult) story featured in the first film, was speaking and sharing his story. 

His name is Jacob. He is sweet and compassionate and has probably witness more horrific things in his young life than anyone in the United States may encounter. Kids get kidnapped from their families and are forced to become child soldiers. Their leader is an evil man and makes these small children carry guns around and kill people. Every night Jacob would travel from village to village to stay out of this army, but eventually was captured. He fortunately escaped, but so many children don’t; small children stolen from their homes, taken from their families. It’s heartbreaking.  After he spoke I was able to catch his attention in the lobby and say hello. He shook my hand then gave me a hug and with a huge smile said, “Hello, thank you for coming.” His thick Ugandan accent came through clearly when he spoke, but I was taken back on how well he spoke English.

Events or moments like these are fantastic reminders that maybe it’s not so bad all the time. I don’t discount those hard days in life, but overall I’m okay.  It’s okay.

Lazy Monday

Today was lovely.

I was able to have a lazy morning, since I worked 12 hours on Friday. Slept in with my McSweets this morning. Then we went to a nice breakfast/lunch at The Nugget. And ended with a wonderful cup of coffee.

The sun has been out all day and has been in the high 60s maybe even low 70s. While we sat outside, I could feel the warm sun warming up the back of my neck and it gave me goose bumps. I love it when the sun can warm you up!

5 hour work day Mondays are my new favorite!

Came home and pre-ordered the new She & Him, the new single is well...lovely!

Travels...

Recently I went on an adventure to Quito, Ecuador with Operation Christmas Child
While traveling I didn't get a chance to get on a computer and blog, so I wrote on whatever I could find from my boarding pass to the in flight magazine...thanks Continental Airlines. So here are a few of my stories:

Monday:

After 3 hours of sleep I arrived at the Sacramento International Airport exhausted, yet excited. This was my first trip to South America and I planned on it being an adventure and a trip I knew I wouldn't forget.

The airport was busy and I boarded my Continental Airlines flight to Houston, TX. The time in the air I spent doing nothing too eventful. Well I should mention the man who carried on a large hand crafted wooden stick. It was at least 6ft tall and he was frustrated it didn't fit in the over head compartment. It was like a Moses stick and I was waiting for him to part the sea.

As soon as we landed our group grabbed some lunch at the airport. We had a 4 hour layover in Houston. I walked around a lot since I knew I would be sitting for 4 hours. As I strolled through the Hudson News, walked on the moving sidewalks and wandered through the food court, I made my way back to the table where our group had settled. Soon enough 4 hours actually passed.

I boarded the last flight of my day at 4pm central time, bound for Quito, Ecuador. As I made my way back to the 15th row, I found my middle seat...lovely and threw my apple duffel bag in the overhead bin. As I got situated I made acquaintances with my seat mate. As we talked she told me how she was traveling alone, but meeting up with friends in Ecuador for a 2 month back packing excursion. Traveling through Ecuador, Peru and Chile. After her adventure she would return to her hometown of Vancouver, BC.

My trip is no where as long as my seat mate, but I believe the experience will be just as rich.
Here's to 3 days in Quito!

First Memory:

The first day of distributions we were told to keep any sort of preconceived notions out of our head. When you watch the promo videos for Operation Christmas Child you get this image in your head of how and what delivering a shoebox is.

As our team of 10 people climbed onto a small bus, we did our mini introductions and then headed out to our first sight La Virginia school in Pifo. The ride was bumpy and we slid open the side windows to get a breeze, it was only 9:30am but it was warming up fast!

Our bus traveled up and up the hills and soon we were off the pavement and onto a dirt road. Looking out the window I could see small run down houses with clothes hanging outside and lightly moving in the wind. The small pink shirt, dancing around in the air gave me an image of a little girl living in a small shack with her family.

As we got off the buss about 130 kids were sitting outside lining a cement slab, watching a performance from 3 clowns. The older wore their backpacks and the torn tights of the girls reflected hardship. They all wore uniforms, yet some looked ragged and worn.

The kids were all laughing and smiling as the clowns quickly spoke Spanish and danced around.

As our team approached our group was called up front of the kids our translators introduced us. As the microphone was passed to me I looked around and saw all these little faces starring back at me. Some waved, some smiled and some just starred.

The shoe boxes were already there, so our translators gathered the kids according to their groups. Boys and girls and then broke down to the age groups. I sat with the 2-4 year old girls, but there were many younger than that. Mothers were holding these small babies with handmade bonnets on their small heads. The mothers would look at me as I handed out shoe boxes to their little girls. My Spanish is very rusty so there was a lot of, "Hola" "Como estas?" and lots and lots of smiling on my end.

After the majority of the kids had gone through their boxes, I had small children running up to me smiling and saying, "Gracias!!" Then they would squeeze my legs. Mothers were hugging me. At this point I am so overwhelmed with emotions.

Right before our team left we prayed for the church and the school. By this point tears are running down my cheeks, with my head bowed I hear our team leader pray a beautiful prayer. And when we all said Amen, the pastor said he could cry but didn't want to because he was so happy. I looked up in time to see the kids of the school all pile in the bed of a truck sitting and standing.

Snooze...

 

My run this morning started off a little weak. When the alarmed went off at 6:30am, I hit snooze so fast I’m not sure if I fully understood what I was doing. Around 7am I finally crawled out of my cozy bed with my blanket Grover still wrapped around my shoulders. I place my running clothes on the side of my bed so when I swing my legs around I can’t help but land on my running clothes.

As I limped along to the bathroom (remember haven’t ran in a while every single muscle in both of my legs are sore) I sigh and grab my teal toothbrush. Slowly waking up, I put my contacts in and throw my brown hair up in a ponytail.

I opened the door and felt a cool breeze hit my face; I poked my head out and saw it was drizzling outside. Now notice my language for rain, I am from Washington I have many names for rain. Drizzle, misting, scattered showers, etc. Since it was drizzling and cool I threw on my black fleece Columbia jacket and headed out the door. My husband pulled on his hood from his jacket and locked the door behind us.

As we got further into our run it got more and more wet and by the middle of the run right about when I hit the hill it started to pour! This hill I want to conquer someday, but today was not the day. The raindrops hit my face harder and harder as we ran, soon my fleece felt heavy and my ponytail was snarled into one big dark brown whip.

I don’t think I fully warmed up the rest of the day. So this evening I am drinking some English black tea and had to turn on the heat. I still felt a chill so I put my big green fuzzy socks on and then slipped my feet into my monkey slippers. They don’t quite fit so well, but it will do.

Running

Today was the first day I ran in a really long time.

I woke up super late this morning and felt really lazy, snuggling in my brown blanket and reading a book. My husband came out of the bedroom rubbing his eyes and saying, "Why did you let me sleep so long?" I pulled my book towards my chest, smiled and said, "Cause you looked so peaceful." If someone is sleeping I always feel like their body is telling them something, like they need more rest. So I let him sleep.

We decided to take a run after our lazy morning that folded over into the afternoon. If someone were to watch us get ready to take a run, I think they would laugh. We both changed into our shorts and strapped on our running shoes. Then I found my iPod shuffle and plugged it into the computer for a little charge and reminder of what songs I had on there.

After viewing the list of tunes, I decided I needed a little upgrade and bought a few tunes from Lady GaGa, don't judge. Yes she dresses crazy, but you have to admit she has some great songs with an awesome beat to run to. Then my husband plugged in his shuffle for the same thing and by this time I really didn't want to go for a run. I spent all this time prepping and now I was really dreading the run outside.

But I took a deep breath, clipped my hot pink shuffle to my shorts and walked out the door. We strolled through the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. Cars were quickly driving past us on our left and we both looked at each put on our head phones and picked up the pace.

The first song that came through my headphones was, "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. This song always reminds me of the opening scene of "The Devil Wears Prada," and actually encourages me to keep running. Because if you know of that scene it's all model type women getting ready for their day and they have fabulous in shape bodies.

As we pass the Safeway it starts to sprinkle. It feels like we are at the ocean, I feel a smile coming on and I can't help but sing a little to the song. Then it happens. My chest starts to feel tight, my muscles start to ache and I realize just how out of shape I am. REALLY out of shape.

My husband gestures ahead of us and says, "Let's go up the bike trail and head back that way." I nod my head as I can feel my face starting to get warmer and my ears start to ache from the wind blowing. We head up the bike trail. And when I say up I mean UP a hill. All of a sudden my husband is a few strides ahead of me, my breather gets harder and my strides become very small. Then I make it up one hill only to see another in front of me. I sigh a little and do my best to continue up the hill. Breathe. C'mon Chelsey Breathe! And then I just stop running and walk the rest up the hill. Defeat.

My goal was to make it to the park on the trail. My husband takes a look behind him and realizes that I started walking. For some reason I felt like I needed to apologize for walking. "I so badly wanted to make it to the park," I exclaimed. My husband always so encouraging, looks at me smiles and says, "Next time. Let's be sure to go for a run tomorrow." I tilt my head up and lean into his chest, I can hear his heart beating and can feel the warmth of his body and say, "Okay, tomorrow."

Seeing Clearly

Today I fully appreciated the invention of contacts. Don’t get me wrong, I have always enjoyed the luxurious of not constantly wearing glasses and being able to play sports without safety goggles.

Last week I had a somewhat stressful week and by the end of it my body decided to express that stress with creating a large red zit like dot on my left eye lid. At first I thought it was from not taking my make up off before I went to bed. I can hear my mother’s voice now, “Did you wash your face? Did you use eye makeup remover? Have you changed your pillow case recently?” You know all the things moms usually like to cover as they interrogate you, but of course it’s all out of love.

This red bump continued to grow over the weekend and didn’t get any better during the course of the week. I wore only mascara and my glasses all week, basically that equals me to look like death. I am telling you eye liner does a lot for my blue eyes! After the week of glasses, I called the doctor to have him check it out and see if he could give me some sort of cream to make it go away. Little did I know that there was no cream, just a needle and hydrogen peroxide. Ouch!

As I talked with the doctor, he was looking closely at the bump. He leaned forward and said, “Well, it’s not a sty like you though. I think it’s a cyst.” He said he would have his nurse prep a needle and gauze to pop it open. I let out a huge breath and said, “Okay.”

Lying on the table with my eyes closed the doctor said, “It will be a small pinch and then we will see what comes out.” I thought great let me just lay here and let ooze fall out of my eyelid. Good times. As I could feel the liquid slowly coming out, I heard the doctor say that it wasn’t a cyst either, “This has too much puss to be a cyst. It’s an abscess. We will have to send the cultures into the lab.” He continued to let it drain and then decided to help out the little abscess by basically pushing on my eyeball enough for both of my eyes to tear up and for me to clench my teeth.

“Okay all done, that wasn’t so bad right?” the doctor said with a smile. I sat up and looked at him through the tears of my eyes and blurred vision and said right. Let out yet another sigh and grabbed my purple framed glasses.

As I drove home my eye started to ache. And then ears and the bridge of my nose from wearing glasses for a week, I haven’t built up stamina for wearing glasses. You need stamina; my dad has worn glasses the majority of his life and has a permanent dent on his nose. Now that’s dedication!

Ah Ha

Have you ever experienced an “Ah Ha” moment? This past week I was in a 3 day conference for work. We had normal sessions on Tuesday and Thursday, but Wednesday was an all day special guest. She was going to teach us about how to be fully engaged. I already had my doubts when I read the cover sheet with the title “You: Fully Engaged!” The title looked so happy and me leaning towards my cynicism that morning, no coffee in hand, I folded arms and said prove it.

The first question was share a story about a time when you were fully engaged in your work and you felt alive! I sat in the maroon office chair pen in hand, totally stumped. I slumped lower into my chair and started to click my pen. Click, click, click. Our session leader looked up and said, “5 minutes.” And then went back to working on her laptop. I could’ve easily made up some story, but by this point I am starting to feel panicked; I have no story. And then I think, oh crap. Have I never been fully engaged in what I do?

This question swirled around in my head for literally 8 hours. At the end of the session I announced to my co-workers, “Um I don’t think I have ever been engaged in what I do.” I could feel stares come from across the room. Tears were in my eyes and clogged up my throat. The click of my pen started again. Click, click, click.

After digesting my day, I thought to myself, well what does fully engaged really mean? I am still pondering this question even today. Does it mean different things to different people, with different beliefs or values?

This question is definitely going on the chalkboard of 2010. I knew 2010 was going to throw a curve ball at me, just didn’t think it was going to happen so soon.

As we go through this thing called life, I will just remember what Charlie Brown once said, “In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.”

Case of the Mondays

As my husband and I pulled into the parking lot of our employment, I couldn't remember what day it was. I had come home for lunch and then we grabbed some coffee before heading back to work, holding my warm coffee in my hands I looked at my husband and said, "Is it still Monday?" He smiled and said, "Yes, it is." It was only 2pm and I was exhausted.

It's interesting when a day drags on for a long time, I tend to think about my friends and family and wonder how their days are going. Did my Mom have a long day with her 3rd graders? Well I guess you can answer that question as yes almost everyday! Did my best friend work another 10 hour day at the state capital? And did my brother sit in traffic on the freeway for 2 hours or 3 today?

Days like these make me want to escape, via movie or book. It usually ends up being via movie or TV show. Mondays are going to make my baby steps towards my new year goals even babier. Mondays you will not defeat me...okay maybe you did this week, but not next.

I told ya baby steps...

So on my last post I mention writing and updating my blog more often...did I mention baby steps? You know when you get to the end of a week and you are oh so thankful that's it Friday!? Not the typical TGIF, but the holy crap that was a long week and I want to bury myself in my fuzzy blanket and not come out until next month sort of week. That's what I had and I had the best intentions of posting once a day.

I mentioned a fuzzy blanket, well I bought THE best blanket ever a few weeks ago. I first discovered such blanket at my parents house when I was visiting for the holidays. It was creme colored and so soft yet so fuzzy, I totally turned into Linus that week; dragging that blanket around with me everywhere. Each night I would take it to bed with me and cuddle it right around my face, it was the best! I thought for sure my mom, being the awesome mom that she is would just give it to me by the time I had to leave, but instead told me where I could buy one. Oh well I tried.

After a few nights blanketless, I broke down went to Macys and bought myself THE blanket. I named him Grover. He is obviously blue and fuzzy...ya know like Grover. He has been with me everynight and for the first time I think my husband was a little jealous, especially when I kept referring to the blanket as a he or a him.

It has been rainy, gray and cloudy and I love it. Grover and I both love it. Just call me Linus!!

2010

2010, a completely brand new year. The new year always makes a stir in my life, not necessarily making resolutions like, "I'm gonna diet!" But making plans for a brand new year, making goals. How will I better my life and lives around me?

A new year is like a fresh start, the chalkboard is completely blank. I know the term usually used is, "your slate is clean," but the visual of a black chalkboard with fresh chalk sitting in the chalk holder just waiting for me to grab and start writing, dreaming, doodling...anything!!



2010 is my chalkboard. I feel fortunate that I can have a new year and welcome this new year healthy and happy. This year I want to change. I want to be less selfish, be a little more green and take care of myself and my community.

Of course baby steps is my motto through this new process. I say that too, because I don't want to start a process and not finish it. It's taking the little things of your day and making it better. Remember to bring my tote bags to the grocery store or getting up in the morning and taking some time to breathe, think and relax before your work day starts.

I will try to blog more as well, you could even say keep writing on my chalkboard throughout my baby steps process. We will see what I learn, what I experience and how I feel by 2011.

Here's to you 2010, it's going to be a great year!!