Running

Today was the first day I ran in a really long time.

I woke up super late this morning and felt really lazy, snuggling in my brown blanket and reading a book. My husband came out of the bedroom rubbing his eyes and saying, "Why did you let me sleep so long?" I pulled my book towards my chest, smiled and said, "Cause you looked so peaceful." If someone is sleeping I always feel like their body is telling them something, like they need more rest. So I let him sleep.

We decided to take a run after our lazy morning that folded over into the afternoon. If someone were to watch us get ready to take a run, I think they would laugh. We both changed into our shorts and strapped on our running shoes. Then I found my iPod shuffle and plugged it into the computer for a little charge and reminder of what songs I had on there.

After viewing the list of tunes, I decided I needed a little upgrade and bought a few tunes from Lady GaGa, don't judge. Yes she dresses crazy, but you have to admit she has some great songs with an awesome beat to run to. Then my husband plugged in his shuffle for the same thing and by this time I really didn't want to go for a run. I spent all this time prepping and now I was really dreading the run outside.

But I took a deep breath, clipped my hot pink shuffle to my shorts and walked out the door. We strolled through the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. Cars were quickly driving past us on our left and we both looked at each put on our head phones and picked up the pace.

The first song that came through my headphones was, "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. This song always reminds me of the opening scene of "The Devil Wears Prada," and actually encourages me to keep running. Because if you know of that scene it's all model type women getting ready for their day and they have fabulous in shape bodies.

As we pass the Safeway it starts to sprinkle. It feels like we are at the ocean, I feel a smile coming on and I can't help but sing a little to the song. Then it happens. My chest starts to feel tight, my muscles start to ache and I realize just how out of shape I am. REALLY out of shape.

My husband gestures ahead of us and says, "Let's go up the bike trail and head back that way." I nod my head as I can feel my face starting to get warmer and my ears start to ache from the wind blowing. We head up the bike trail. And when I say up I mean UP a hill. All of a sudden my husband is a few strides ahead of me, my breather gets harder and my strides become very small. Then I make it up one hill only to see another in front of me. I sigh a little and do my best to continue up the hill. Breathe. C'mon Chelsey Breathe! And then I just stop running and walk the rest up the hill. Defeat.

My goal was to make it to the park on the trail. My husband takes a look behind him and realizes that I started walking. For some reason I felt like I needed to apologize for walking. "I so badly wanted to make it to the park," I exclaimed. My husband always so encouraging, looks at me smiles and says, "Next time. Let's be sure to go for a run tomorrow." I tilt my head up and lean into his chest, I can hear his heart beating and can feel the warmth of his body and say, "Okay, tomorrow."

Seeing Clearly

Today I fully appreciated the invention of contacts. Don’t get me wrong, I have always enjoyed the luxurious of not constantly wearing glasses and being able to play sports without safety goggles.

Last week I had a somewhat stressful week and by the end of it my body decided to express that stress with creating a large red zit like dot on my left eye lid. At first I thought it was from not taking my make up off before I went to bed. I can hear my mother’s voice now, “Did you wash your face? Did you use eye makeup remover? Have you changed your pillow case recently?” You know all the things moms usually like to cover as they interrogate you, but of course it’s all out of love.

This red bump continued to grow over the weekend and didn’t get any better during the course of the week. I wore only mascara and my glasses all week, basically that equals me to look like death. I am telling you eye liner does a lot for my blue eyes! After the week of glasses, I called the doctor to have him check it out and see if he could give me some sort of cream to make it go away. Little did I know that there was no cream, just a needle and hydrogen peroxide. Ouch!

As I talked with the doctor, he was looking closely at the bump. He leaned forward and said, “Well, it’s not a sty like you though. I think it’s a cyst.” He said he would have his nurse prep a needle and gauze to pop it open. I let out a huge breath and said, “Okay.”

Lying on the table with my eyes closed the doctor said, “It will be a small pinch and then we will see what comes out.” I thought great let me just lay here and let ooze fall out of my eyelid. Good times. As I could feel the liquid slowly coming out, I heard the doctor say that it wasn’t a cyst either, “This has too much puss to be a cyst. It’s an abscess. We will have to send the cultures into the lab.” He continued to let it drain and then decided to help out the little abscess by basically pushing on my eyeball enough for both of my eyes to tear up and for me to clench my teeth.

“Okay all done, that wasn’t so bad right?” the doctor said with a smile. I sat up and looked at him through the tears of my eyes and blurred vision and said right. Let out yet another sigh and grabbed my purple framed glasses.

As I drove home my eye started to ache. And then ears and the bridge of my nose from wearing glasses for a week, I haven’t built up stamina for wearing glasses. You need stamina; my dad has worn glasses the majority of his life and has a permanent dent on his nose. Now that’s dedication!

Ah Ha

Have you ever experienced an “Ah Ha” moment? This past week I was in a 3 day conference for work. We had normal sessions on Tuesday and Thursday, but Wednesday was an all day special guest. She was going to teach us about how to be fully engaged. I already had my doubts when I read the cover sheet with the title “You: Fully Engaged!” The title looked so happy and me leaning towards my cynicism that morning, no coffee in hand, I folded arms and said prove it.

The first question was share a story about a time when you were fully engaged in your work and you felt alive! I sat in the maroon office chair pen in hand, totally stumped. I slumped lower into my chair and started to click my pen. Click, click, click. Our session leader looked up and said, “5 minutes.” And then went back to working on her laptop. I could’ve easily made up some story, but by this point I am starting to feel panicked; I have no story. And then I think, oh crap. Have I never been fully engaged in what I do?

This question swirled around in my head for literally 8 hours. At the end of the session I announced to my co-workers, “Um I don’t think I have ever been engaged in what I do.” I could feel stares come from across the room. Tears were in my eyes and clogged up my throat. The click of my pen started again. Click, click, click.

After digesting my day, I thought to myself, well what does fully engaged really mean? I am still pondering this question even today. Does it mean different things to different people, with different beliefs or values?

This question is definitely going on the chalkboard of 2010. I knew 2010 was going to throw a curve ball at me, just didn’t think it was going to happen so soon.

As we go through this thing called life, I will just remember what Charlie Brown once said, “In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.”

Case of the Mondays

As my husband and I pulled into the parking lot of our employment, I couldn't remember what day it was. I had come home for lunch and then we grabbed some coffee before heading back to work, holding my warm coffee in my hands I looked at my husband and said, "Is it still Monday?" He smiled and said, "Yes, it is." It was only 2pm and I was exhausted.

It's interesting when a day drags on for a long time, I tend to think about my friends and family and wonder how their days are going. Did my Mom have a long day with her 3rd graders? Well I guess you can answer that question as yes almost everyday! Did my best friend work another 10 hour day at the state capital? And did my brother sit in traffic on the freeway for 2 hours or 3 today?

Days like these make me want to escape, via movie or book. It usually ends up being via movie or TV show. Mondays are going to make my baby steps towards my new year goals even babier. Mondays you will not defeat me...okay maybe you did this week, but not next.

I told ya baby steps...

So on my last post I mention writing and updating my blog more often...did I mention baby steps? You know when you get to the end of a week and you are oh so thankful that's it Friday!? Not the typical TGIF, but the holy crap that was a long week and I want to bury myself in my fuzzy blanket and not come out until next month sort of week. That's what I had and I had the best intentions of posting once a day.

I mentioned a fuzzy blanket, well I bought THE best blanket ever a few weeks ago. I first discovered such blanket at my parents house when I was visiting for the holidays. It was creme colored and so soft yet so fuzzy, I totally turned into Linus that week; dragging that blanket around with me everywhere. Each night I would take it to bed with me and cuddle it right around my face, it was the best! I thought for sure my mom, being the awesome mom that she is would just give it to me by the time I had to leave, but instead told me where I could buy one. Oh well I tried.

After a few nights blanketless, I broke down went to Macys and bought myself THE blanket. I named him Grover. He is obviously blue and fuzzy...ya know like Grover. He has been with me everynight and for the first time I think my husband was a little jealous, especially when I kept referring to the blanket as a he or a him.

It has been rainy, gray and cloudy and I love it. Grover and I both love it. Just call me Linus!!

2010

2010, a completely brand new year. The new year always makes a stir in my life, not necessarily making resolutions like, "I'm gonna diet!" But making plans for a brand new year, making goals. How will I better my life and lives around me?

A new year is like a fresh start, the chalkboard is completely blank. I know the term usually used is, "your slate is clean," but the visual of a black chalkboard with fresh chalk sitting in the chalk holder just waiting for me to grab and start writing, dreaming, doodling...anything!!



2010 is my chalkboard. I feel fortunate that I can have a new year and welcome this new year healthy and happy. This year I want to change. I want to be less selfish, be a little more green and take care of myself and my community.

Of course baby steps is my motto through this new process. I say that too, because I don't want to start a process and not finish it. It's taking the little things of your day and making it better. Remember to bring my tote bags to the grocery store or getting up in the morning and taking some time to breathe, think and relax before your work day starts.

I will try to blog more as well, you could even say keep writing on my chalkboard throughout my baby steps process. We will see what I learn, what I experience and how I feel by 2011.

Here's to you 2010, it's going to be a great year!!

Fall is my absolute favorite season. There's something about the leaves turning colors, the crisp blue air and of course the pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks.

Yesterday I traveled to the pumpkin patch and I realized I haven't been to a pumpkins patch since I was a kid. My husband and I wondered through the fields of pumpkins, picking up some and examining them trying to find that perfect pumpkin to carve. This pumpkin patch was no ordinary "patch" it had hay rides, train rides, corn maze, petting zoo and many things for kids to climb, jump and slide on. It was like a one stop shop for family fun.

It was very strange though to pick out pumpkins and it was 80 degrees. I still haven't gotten use to CA weather. I keep thinking when I walk outside it's going to be nice and crisp, because it's OCTOBER!! But no, 82 to be exact. Sweating and picking pumpkins was really random and weird.



The petting zoo was pretty fun, miniature donkeys, baby goats and piglets. I think I like miniature animals, makes me feel like a giant.
I loved watching all the families interact with their children and how the children interacted with the animals. This one young boy walked in with a carrot and shoved it in a donkeys face and said here eat this. C'mon eat it. Then he gave up on that donkey and went to another one. He kept doing this for a while, just couldn't get rid of that carrot.



While walking out to the car with 2 pumpkins in hand I watched this older brother (probably 10 or so) say to his younger sister (7 or so) say "C'mon hold my hand we are walking into the parking lot." She didn't think that was so cool and said, "No, let's choo choo." What a great explanation for holding hands, nah just choo choo. As I got to the car I turned around to see if the little girl ever held onto ther brothers hand and she was, her brother stood in front and put his hands behind his back while she held them and said, "CHOO CHOO!"
I love fall.



And this guy!